What difference do you want to make?

"So what difference do you want to make in the world? What impact do you want to have? How do you want to make things a little better for society? What do you want to be remembered for once you're gone? Think back on what makes you really angry about the world too - that can help spur things."

How often do you think of who you are, where you've been and where you're going? Are you getting anywhere? These kinds of questions have been pondering my mind for some dozen years now. Constantly hammering and pressuring me. Unnecessary stress one might say. One might be right.

Maybe it is different for you. You either think or shut it out. You either feel or try to set it aside. For some, I’m sure, life really comes naturally, for others it is a deep and constant struggle. Life has treated me well, but with it came the notion of modern day’s western-society-sadness and -confusion.

In the constant rushing of life, do you remember the last time when you were at ease? A moment or span of time, where everything just felt right? Not because you were in a beautiful place, in a magnificent moment or with wonderful people. Fulfillment because of who you are and what you do.

For me it always begins with excitement, over the idea that another possible opportunity of my kind is starting to manifest itself in the near future. I start to work on it, gather materials, ideas. Research as much as I can. Learn. Then connections start to form, new ideas arise, an outline forms itself. When the date approaches, a drop in excitement hits the curve. Fear. Nausea. Uneasiness and self-doubt arrive.
Suddenly, rushing. Everything has to be gathered up, prepared and rehearsed a last time. The clock ticks and people start to arrive. They sit down. I greet. You can read from their faces that they have things on their mind, places to be. Some are eager, some defensive, some are playful, some just tired. After everybody is physically present, I inhale deeply, put a large smile on my face and begin.

This is the exact point where I lose myself. Everything has been building up and now the boundaries of my comfort zone, the box I have been in suddenly expand, tear, widen and reform themselves. This for me is magic and this is why I am.

Have you felt that way? Maybe for you the buildup has been the thinking about your puzzle, the gathering of tools and materials, the research on the internet, going to a specific place or putting on special clothes, or just the knowledge that it's there and waiting for you. Your source of flow.
And the magic? Finally assembling the pieces, forgetting yourself behind the canvas, the stove, working bench or flowerbed. Writing, discovering and collecting. Doing and creating.

Whatever it is, I believe that every person has in them something that puts a smile on their face and makes everything worthwhile. For me that something is using my skills and knowledge to help people become better than they were yesterday, so that all may discover the way to be happy about who they are and where they’re going.

This for me is magic. And this is the difference I want to make.

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Thank you for your time!
If you have any comments on my writing or ideas on how I could make a better impact, please do not hesitate to drop a line or few down below.