A Singular Self

School's On Every season a new cycle begins and with that, soon a lot of people will be unhappy. Like myself many years back, they will feel, that this is not it. The study of field they chose or the way it is taught does not satisfy. What's even worse, a lot of the people, who will feel unhappiness or in other words an unknown burden lingering on their heart (or shoulders for some) - don't even know what the better alternative would be. When I finished high school I knew I had to continue my formal education and apply for the university. "Had". My high school prepped us for that, and so did my parents and grandparents. "You need to have a formal higher education if you're going to achieve anything in life," was in essence what they portrayed. I mean I'm not saying that formal education is unnecessary or wrong. I'm saying that at least after high school it should be time for young people to be able to make up their own minds...

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.”  [1] In the book "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" Shunryu Suzuki talks about the practice of Zen and how it relates to one's true self and the natural way to live. He said that in order to practice true zazen one should not practice with the aim of gaining something special. "It is our human nature to be active and the nature of every existence. As long as we are alive, we are always doing something. But as long as you think, “I am doing this,” or “I have to do this,” or “I must attain something special,” you are actually not doing anything.” [2] This is quite similar to the more modern approach of Zen-Buddhism called mindfulness and connects also very well to stoicism . Which got me thinking, that indeed thinking IS thinking and doing IS doing. So do we in everyday reality actually confuse these processes? Is it so, that we often don't move in the desired directi...

Unbelievable how hard it is to change myself. Trying to build habits that resonate in my mind with what I want and need should be easy, right? I see the need for improvement - the why , I know how I should approach it and I have the solutions on paper - the what . But every conceivable old habit is working against acquiring new ones. I haven't written for a long while now. Although I honestly believe that putting finger on keyboard helps me to expand on my ideas. The good thing though is, that in the meanwhile I've found my "Why" - the purpose, cause or belief why I do what I do. I've put into words the meaning of my being and trying to work with it as much as possible; like using a tool. Here it is - my purpose in life: To help people open up their ideas so that they may live a happier and more fulfilled life. ... a big step towards my singular self. Months ago, to be precise on the 4th of March , I joined a writing challenge. I failed it, becau...

In order to protect myself from confirmation bias , I decided to put my beliefs about happiness under test. First I deconstructed them into smaller hypotheses. It's important to note, that the definition of happiness is not yet clear for me (nor for anyone as I actually understand) . My hypotheses aren't so much about the hedonistic tradition of happiness, where the focus is on seeking pleasant and avoiding unpleasant experiences. At this point I rather hold the eudaimonic meaning in mind, where happiness is centered on living life in a full and deeply satisfying way. My five hypotheses: All people want to be happy. If a person wants to become happy, they must first understand and accept the situation they're in right now. If a person wants to become happy and has accepted the situation they're in, they next have to discover, what their Why? (purpose, cause of belief) is. If a person has discovered their Why?, then dreams grow out of it. If a person ...

"So what difference do you want to make in the world? What impact do you want to have? How do you want to make things a little better for society? What do you want to be remembered for once you're gone? Think back on what makes you really angry about the world too - that can help spur things." How often do you think of who you are, where you've been and where you're going? Are you getting anywhere? These kinds of questions have been pondering my mind for some dozen years now. Constantly hammering and pressuring me. Unnecessary stress one might say. One might be right. Maybe it is different for you. You either think or shut it out. You either feel or try to set it aside. For some, I’m sure, life really comes naturally, for others it is a deep and constant struggle. Life has treated me well, but with it came the notion of modern day’s western-society-sadness and -confusion. In the constant rushing of life, do you remember the last time when you were at ease...

"Don't get intimidated by this one. By elevator pitch  I just mean... what are you excited about (personal or business)? What are you building or want to build? You know, the fun stuff in your life that you actually care about. Every interaction we have is a chance to run a mini experiment and test out our ideas with others. It also makes conversations a ton more entertaining when the dreaded "So, what do you do?" question comes up." It's not that I have ever dreaded this question. It's just that I have found it often hard to answer in a meaningful way without running risk of being instantly labeled. On the other side it's also very easy to answer, if you yourself put the label up. Depending on the box I have been in, I have answered the question somewhat laconic like this: "I study psychology at the University of Tartu." "I'm currently unemployed." "I'm helping out a friend with doing search engine ...

"Think about something you've done and accomplished. It could be this year or 30 years ago. Ideally pick one of your most proud accomplishments to date. What is it? Who were you with? What were you doing? What actions caused you to experience the success you did? How did it feel? Did it positively impact anyone else?" Can I be most proud of the fact that I have a son and am raising him to become this wonderful person? For a long time in my life I felt that there is nothing that is actually my doing. Even the things I have been best at were in most part there because of my parents. Because of the actions and choices they made. Or because they coached or influenced me enough so I could get things done. Don't get me wrong, of course I'm deeply thankful for everything they have done and are doing. It's just. At some point you want to make your own choices not only because you can but also because you have to. I think it all changed for me after, havi...

"The point of this question is to give some thought to the ways you help people with your talents, skills and passions that you might not be realizing (or giving yourself credit for). Another way to look at it is "What do you love helping people with," or "What would you be happy and excited to help others with even if you didn't get paid?" When other people talk too much about themselves, they may appear to some uptight or egocentric. Yet, we usually enjoy talking about ourselves a lot. Of course that doesn't mean, we get to. Maybe because we don't want to seem egocentric, because others always like to talk more than we or because people just seldom ask us anything real and mean it. I have always loved to listen and talk to other people and feel that you learn a lot about someone through asking the right questions. And people really continually thank me for the good time they had talking to me. When I get the chance to converse with someone,...

"Dale Carnegie used to say that anyone could become a great public speaker if they were angry enough. And when it comes to helping people and living your legend, starting with your biggest frustrations can open up a lot of ideas as to the difference you want to make. Think of what consistently makes you mad about the world and what you wish was different." Dear You! I told my better half today that I needed to write about something that makes me angry about the world and frustrates me. She asked in response why I would create another blog about something that's bad in the world. It got me thinking. For a long time already I have tried to follow a Low-Information Diet introduced to me through the works of Tim Ferriss. I shut down my Facebook account, quit the television contract with my service provider, uninstalled almost all social applications from my phone and turned of all notifications, installed SelfRestraint  on my computer and replaced the scary news ...

"Write a few sentences about your story/background, why you decided to start a blog and what you hope to get out of it. Add in something unique an interesting from your story too!" Tere tulemast! This is my n-th attempt at creating a blog. And I'm really excited, because this time the catalyst is Scott Dinsmore with his Start-A-Blog Dream Job Challenge . I do believe, as many great persons before me have said, in the idea of "writing as crystallized thought". So of course the main thing for me is not the chase of the prize or the prize itself, but rather the process of writing and the focus of this blog on  discovering and creating my singular self . I will elaborate more on the concept of the singular self in future posts. For now I'd just like to add a thought that I heard only yesterday. A man named Julian Treasure spoke at TED about "How to speak so that people want to listen". One thing stood out for me that I feel I have tried to f...