A Singular Self

Unbelievable how hard it is to change myself. Trying to build habits that resonate in my mind with what I want and need should be easy, right? I see the need for improvement - the why , I know how I should approach it and I have the solutions on paper - the what . But every conceivable old habit is working against acquiring new ones. I haven't written for a long while now. Although I honestly believe that putting finger on keyboard helps me to expand on my ideas. The good thing though is, that in the meanwhile I've found my "Why" - the purpose, cause or belief why I do what I do. I've put into words the meaning of my being and trying to work with it as much as possible; like using a tool. Here it is - my purpose in life: To help people open up their ideas so that they may live a happier and more fulfilled life. ... a big step towards my singular self. Months ago, to be precise on the 4th of March , I joined a writing challenge. I failed it, becau...

In order to protect myself from confirmation bias , I decided to put my beliefs about happiness under test. First I deconstructed them into smaller hypotheses. It's important to note, that the definition of happiness is not yet clear for me (nor for anyone as I actually understand) . My hypotheses aren't so much about the hedonistic tradition of happiness, where the focus is on seeking pleasant and avoiding unpleasant experiences. At this point I rather hold the eudaimonic meaning in mind, where happiness is centered on living life in a full and deeply satisfying way. My five hypotheses: All people want to be happy. If a person wants to become happy, they must first understand and accept the situation they're in right now. If a person wants to become happy and has accepted the situation they're in, they next have to discover, what their Why? (purpose, cause of belief) is. If a person has discovered their Why?, then dreams grow out of it. If a person ...

"So what difference do you want to make in the world? What impact do you want to have? How do you want to make things a little better for society? What do you want to be remembered for once you're gone? Think back on what makes you really angry about the world too - that can help spur things." How often do you think of who you are, where you've been and where you're going? Are you getting anywhere? These kinds of questions have been pondering my mind for some dozen years now. Constantly hammering and pressuring me. Unnecessary stress one might say. One might be right. Maybe it is different for you. You either think or shut it out. You either feel or try to set it aside. For some, I’m sure, life really comes naturally, for others it is a deep and constant struggle. Life has treated me well, but with it came the notion of modern day’s western-society-sadness and -confusion. In the constant rushing of life, do you remember the last time when you were at ease...

"Don't get intimidated by this one. By elevator pitch  I just mean... what are you excited about (personal or business)? What are you building or want to build? You know, the fun stuff in your life that you actually care about. Every interaction we have is a chance to run a mini experiment and test out our ideas with others. It also makes conversations a ton more entertaining when the dreaded "So, what do you do?" question comes up." It's not that I have ever dreaded this question. It's just that I have found it often hard to answer in a meaningful way without running risk of being instantly labeled. On the other side it's also very easy to answer, if you yourself put the label up. Depending on the box I have been in, I have answered the question somewhat laconic like this: "I study psychology at the University of Tartu." "I'm currently unemployed." "I'm helping out a friend with doing search engine ...

"Think about something you've done and accomplished. It could be this year or 30 years ago. Ideally pick one of your most proud accomplishments to date. What is it? Who were you with? What were you doing? What actions caused you to experience the success you did? How did it feel? Did it positively impact anyone else?" Can I be most proud of the fact that I have a son and am raising him to become this wonderful person? For a long time in my life I felt that there is nothing that is actually my doing. Even the things I have been best at were in most part there because of my parents. Because of the actions and choices they made. Or because they coached or influenced me enough so I could get things done. Don't get me wrong, of course I'm deeply thankful for everything they have done and are doing. It's just. At some point you want to make your own choices not only because you can but also because you have to. I think it all changed for me after, havi...

"The point of this question is to give some thought to the ways you help people with your talents, skills and passions that you might not be realizing (or giving yourself credit for). Another way to look at it is "What do you love helping people with," or "What would you be happy and excited to help others with even if you didn't get paid?" When other people talk too much about themselves, they may appear to some uptight or egocentric. Yet, we usually enjoy talking about ourselves a lot. Of course that doesn't mean, we get to. Maybe because we don't want to seem egocentric, because others always like to talk more than we or because people just seldom ask us anything real and mean it. I have always loved to listen and talk to other people and feel that you learn a lot about someone through asking the right questions. And people really continually thank me for the good time they had talking to me. When I get the chance to converse with someone,...

"Dale Carnegie used to say that anyone could become a great public speaker if they were angry enough. And when it comes to helping people and living your legend, starting with your biggest frustrations can open up a lot of ideas as to the difference you want to make. Think of what consistently makes you mad about the world and what you wish was different." Dear You! I told my better half today that I needed to write about something that makes me angry about the world and frustrates me. She asked in response why I would create another blog about something that's bad in the world. It got me thinking. For a long time already I have tried to follow a Low-Information Diet introduced to me through the works of Tim Ferriss. I shut down my Facebook account, quit the television contract with my service provider, uninstalled almost all social applications from my phone and turned of all notifications, installed SelfRestraint  on my computer and replaced the scary news ...